How to fall gracefully

(and get back up again).

  1. You start feeling something you’d rather not feel. It might be gradual, or a twinge of the heart. It comes and goes, but it’s there. You may not even notice it at first. This is the beginning.
  2. You feel as if something isn’t right. This twinge is pointing to a larger and more elaborate labyrinth of feelings that seems inescapable.
  3. The event happens. Maybe it happens to you, maybe it comes from you or someone else– Either from yourself or someone else. This is the point when you realize nothing can ever be the same again… and you are hoping for the past. Wondering why things have gone the way they did– blaming yourself and wondering if there’s anything you could have done to prevent this.
  4. You feel as if there is no way back… falling… falling.
  5. You begin to accept the inevitable. Maybe you couldn’t have helped this from happening. Maybe this was the direction fate had determined to take. Maybe this is the way to be normal again.
  6. This wasn’t your fault. It couldn’t have been… and somehow you feel stuck in a life that isn’t, or couldn’t possibly be yours. Yet, here you are.
  7. Closing the doors. You shut down for a while. Maybe in resistance. Maybe from being so tired from keeping on going that you just have to sit down for a minute. You can’t take care of what you could have before. You have to take a break. That minute lasts eternity… but you need it to fill up your strength again. No matter what time it takes.
  8. You begin to feel new. The sun shines in a different way and yet, you can consider living your light in this new light. You begin to look up.

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