Riding the waves

It’s possible to feel aligned and peace in your heart, yet still experience sadness and pain. It seems different waves of emotions are continually coming into my life. Some are waves from the past, finding their way back to the present through my emotions. And I want so hard to let this go, this divine misunderstanding and loss I feel, I want it to just go away. But it’s not going away.

It’s not that I’m not “feeling my feelings,” which is what most self help people would say to do. These deep feelings of sadness keep coming. It feels like it’s genuine and new waves of emotion all time. Current and old emotions coming and going like waves. And all I can do now is ride these waves. I have learned to not do something foolish in order to make the hurt into happiness, if I know something isn’t going to work out. It’s all I can do to keep it inside, cry a bit and try my best to carry on with life. It’s not a miserable sadness, but a peaceful sense of sadness. I know everything will be ok, and my life is being carried out how it’s meant to.

I hear the voice of so many self help influencers and authors, so many people that I looked up to and trusted. Their voice echoes in my mind as “Feel your feelings,” and “you need to do self-care,” and “stay positive to attract positivity.”

I’m just at a place in my life where I can see where these people are coming from, and maybe these things do work in many or certain situations. But when you’re like me, and everything they say to do doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean that you are doing it wrong or not enough like they want you to think. Sometimes it’s about just living the feeling and let it come and go as it needs to. This is for your own healing. Even though it may seem wrong at times, just listening to what’s naturally happening to yourself can help you learn the greatest lessons.

Photo by Chris Chan on Unsplash

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