I feel like a little kid learning to color with crayons again.

Picking the right colors, Trying to fill the spaces.

Choosing a picture that I would like to bring to life.

Working with direction, textures, mixing and experimenting.

Being so excited when my new art is finished,

Desiring to show someone what I am so proud of completing.

Setting one project aside, picking up another.

Not caring how, or what I colored in the past, because all that matters now is

The picture I’m coloring.

And even when the crayons get dull, or maybe some will break, they can still color.

They can still fill their purpose. I am like a child learning to color again.

Photo by Veronica Lorine on Unsplash

Riding the waves

It’s possible to feel aligned and peace in your heart, yet still experience sadness and pain. It seems different waves of emotions are continually coming into my life. Some are waves from the past, finding their way back to the present through my emotions. And I want so hard to let this go, this divine misunderstanding and loss I feel, I want it to just go away. But it’s not going away.

It’s not that I’m not “feeling my feelings,” which is what most self help people would say to do. These deep feelings of sadness keep coming. It feels like it’s genuine and new waves of emotion all time. Current and old emotions coming and going like waves. And all I can do now is ride these waves. I have learned to not do something foolish in order to make the hurt into happiness, if I know something isn’t going to work out. It’s all I can do to keep it inside, cry a bit and try my best to carry on with life. It’s not a miserable sadness, but a peaceful sense of sadness. I know everything will be ok, and my life is being carried out how it’s meant to.

I hear the voice of so many self help influencers and authors, so many people that I looked up to and trusted. Their voice echoes in my mind as “Feel your feelings,” and “you need to do self-care,” and “stay positive to attract positivity.”

I’m just at a place in my life where I can see where these people are coming from, and maybe these things do work in many or certain situations. But when you’re like me, and everything they say to do doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean that you are doing it wrong or not enough like they want you to think. Sometimes it’s about just living the feeling and let it come and go as it needs to. This is for your own healing. Even though it may seem wrong at times, just listening to what’s naturally happening to yourself can help you learn the greatest lessons.

Photo by Chris Chan on Unsplash

Autumn’s Beauty

It’s been a really long time since I’ve created a youtube video or meditation. I was feeling a bit creative and put together a short visual meditation. Enjoy!

I’m still pondering on if I should keep making videos on youtube, other meditations and such. I’d really like to keep creating content, but not at the expense of me feeling stressed out about it. Will update on this soon!

Crown Chakra: Sahasrara

Sahasrara: “Infinite Thousand Vastness” “Wheel of a Thousand Petals”

The Crown Chakra is where we are connected to the divine. This is where our intuitive abilities originate, where we receive them. This is the center where we know our true purposes here in this life. When connecting to the Crown, it is important to not hold any attachments or expectations in this center. It is to simply receive, to be, to breathe, to exist, understand, and live out our spiritual gifts.

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